This made up phrase comes from two of my AARP homeboys, Jerry and Buddy.
"You can put a fried pie on a pig but it still won't cross that bridge."
I would like to thank both Jerry and Buddy for helping me come up with something that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
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Apparently, "screwed the pooch" is a Southern-ism. Or at least an outdated phrase. I used it in my class last night, and my students all erupted in laughter before informing me that they had never heard that phrase before. For fun, I said it again later in class, and it still got laughs. Good to know that I have that on reserve if things get boring.
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